To Go or Not To Go, that is the Question

The other day I was talking to someone about the fact that they were sick.  They didn't really want to be in their room, away from other people, and so were frustrated at the idea that having a fever meant staying away until they were better.

Another person mentioned to me that they had been sick with a fever recently, but they just kept going and doing what they normally do because, "They aren't the kind of person to just lay around." And I got irritated.  It seemed selfish to me.  It didn't seem noble to me to infect everyone else with their germs just because they didn't want to stay away.

Then, the other day, my youngest was throwing up.  He had been sick for three days, but no one else had been, so it was my hope that everyone else was ok and this was just a bug that the rest of us had already had.  I left him home from the outing we were going to on the 4th day, just because his tummy didn't seem up to par yet, but he was fine all day, thankfully.

However, half way through our event, another child starting acting weird.
"No thanks, mom.  I don't want any lunch.  And I think I feel sort of tired, so instead of playing with all my friends, I'm just going to go lay in the van"- for an hour and a half!  He threw up later that day.  So then I felt bad that we had exposed everyone we were around to this stomach bug and I should have just gone with my gut and declared him sick the moment that I saw him acting odd. 

If I went with my gut all the time, though, and didn't send any possibly contaminated children to anything ever, we would have to stay home a LOT! 

This all makes me wonder how the majority of other families deal with sickness and germs.  I don't want to act like a hypochondriac, but how do I wade through these waters and think of others as well as ourselves?



And when we are sick, how much do I let others decide whether to expose themselves and be in my home, knowing they might get sick and pass it on to others, versus saying no?

I usually try not to bring or send children who have a fever or stomach virus to anything until it has been about 24 hours since they were sick.  But sometimes I just don't know they are and then they are there and get others sick.

I can't stand it, though, when a parent KNOWS their child is sick and brings them anyway because they just want to be there or the child REALLY wants to participate.

Then there are those who are obsessed with being well, and if my kid coughs or sniffs funny, they cover their face in fear that they will be next.  Suddenly, I feel like I should probably stay home at all times because if I waited until no child ever sneezed, coughed, picked their nose, or sniffed, we would never be able to walk out the front door! Ever!  Yet somehow, when someone covers their face because of one of my children's bodily functions, I immediately feel guilty.  I hate that too!

Today I happen to be faced with what to do about Easter service tomorrow. One child threw up this morning, one- last night.  Chances are they are both going to be fine tomorrow.  But I'm probably going to take them and one of the kids that has been well so far is going to lose it at lunch and then I'll know that they shouldn't have gone to church that morning.  Or, as things go- if we all stay home- we are sure to all be completely well and it will have been a waste. 

You know, it's not the cooking and the laundry that stresses us moms out.  It's issues like this- emotional interactions with other people and the judgements that others form about us, that we form about ourselves, and the feeling of responsibility to get it right- EVERY SINGLE TIME that makes parenting so hard.  It's why babysitters think that taking care of kids is no big deal and then parents have a completely different feel to it.  That responsibility of, "Am I making the right call?"

So, I don't know if we will be at church tomorrow or not, but I'd love to know if other people struggle with this issue and how they navigate it.  I'm looking forward to Heaven when sickness won't be an issue anymore.  Easier decision making!

There are Good Days, and then there are Good Days

Today I had to take a unexpected trip into the doctor for my cast to be looked at.  Something about the fact that I could move my toes sent the doctor scurrying to stop it. Cut, x-ray, dress, wrap, and recast. 

...4 hours later (Yay, for those moments when they can work you in between appointments) I had my new boot.

Today I had a choice.  I had a full day planned out.  It didn't start like I had planned and it just kept getting messier and messier.  I could have groaned about each little thing- began the day with a really sad phone call from a friend. (That I did groan over, but I determined to try and continue on my day.) But it was a rough start.

Next, I sat downstairs waiting for a phone call while I attempted to start school on time.  If any of you have started up school after vacation you know that the first day back into a routine can be hitchy at best.  Today was no different.  We had some interruptions, some difficulty finding things, and some tricky assignments, but we pressed on, cheerfully.  For all of about 30 minutes.

The doctor called back and indicated I needed to come in.  Ok.  And then began the 4 hours. It would have been easy to look at this day as a wash, to see the lack of schooling, the endless hours "wasted" at the doc's office, and only little glitches in between.  I could have made that choice. I often do.


But today, I made the choice to be cheerful about it and look for ways to enjoy where I was at the moment.  So...

When school wasn't going...I just stuck with what we were doing- reading aloud.  We read and the kids colored some cards.  They learned some history and we were able to send some notes that communicated love to my friend.  Not the "normal" school, but worthy.

When we got to the doctor and discovered that it would be an hour and a half before the dr. could even see me, we (Brandon, Justin, and I) took the rare opportunity to have lunch together at the cafeteria.  We had a delightful lunch, enjoying our little son between us and each other.

When I got back to the crowded casting area and had to wait for over an hour, I could have been irritated, but instead I had the opportunity to be a bright spot in the lives of the nurses.  I was happy, smiled, joked, and tried to be accommodating. Around the corner, behind the next curtain, was a girl who was just a mess.  I won't get into everything that she had going on, but there was a clear combination of things that had happened (accident) and things she had done to herself (drug type issues) that  came together to make her one miserable, in pain human being.  She was angry, lashing out, and there really was quite a difficulty in knowing where to start with her problems because one just rolled on top of another. 

We both had to sit there for a long time.  Not really in each others' presence, but near.  I could have become frustrated with her there, but I took the chance to pray.  It made me wonder how often God makes us wait in a place, hoping that we will notice someone besides ourselves that needs help and either help them, or pray or both.  I'm afraid that most of the time I'm too busy feeling irritated that my plans are being changed without my consent that I don't pay the least attention to others or their needs. Oh that I would remember today and how energizing it was to me and to the other staff, and I think some of my comments seemed to help the girl be more peaceful.

I don't know why she stuck with me so.  Perhaps because I heard that she was the same age as me, perhaps because behind her rotten miserable attitude I saw a mirror of myself and how I respond to others sometimes, or perhaps just because she was so obviously sad and I had no idea how to help her, but wanted to.  Whatever it was, she did stick; both as a check to myself to be kind even in difficulty and to pray for others around me.

It wasn't the day that I planned, but it was a good one- worth the changes and switches and the waits.  That's what I choose today.  And, by God's grace, I purpose to choose it tomorrow.

 "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24