1. You may not apply Elmer's glue to your entire naked body. It isn't lotion.
2. Please do not stand on top of the potty chair seat to pee, you aren't that good of a shot.
3. No chickens may jump on the trampoline with you.
4. You also may not rollerblade on the trampoline.
5. I will think about your request to sleep in the attic and get back to you.
6. Used Name tags...You may not place them on the ceiling in the living room, above your desk to mark your territory.
7. Also, you may not put them under the thermostat on the wall so as to claim your right to the temperature control in that room.
8. If the question involves the words "hot glue gun", then I didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence; the answer is no.
9. You splashed so much, I'm not letting you take a bath until you move out.
10. Duct tape is not an appropriate option for fort building with blankets as it removes the fabric from the blanket and the sheet rock from the ceiling of your bedroom when you take it down.
11. If you are afraid of the bees outside, then you had better go make friends with them because friends with the bees or not, you are GOING OUTSIDE!
12. You also may not jump on the trampoline naked. Or cause your siblings to become naked while jumping.
13. If you fed your peanut butter and jelly sandwich to the chickens, then I'm not giving you another one.
14. I'm glad you like practicing a variety of accents, however spelling lessons is not the time to practice your Southern. You will fail your lessons if you do.
15. You can't sled down the hill, in the spring mud, on your kick board that you use for swimming. Not because I won't allow it, but it just won't go anywhere.
16. You can't possibly be "Turning into a puddle of sweat because you are so hot!" It's only 64 degrees outside!
17. If you forget to change your underwear again, I will make you present your dirty underwear to me as a daily morning offering at breakfast in front of the family to help you remember.
18. You must change your socks more often than every 2 weeks. I can't have you getting some disease like trench foot all because I didn't realize you were wearing the same socks all the time.
19. I said that you could draw, color, or sit while I read to you. But I didn't mean that you could walk around collecting various large pieces of paper, to cut and tape together to create a piece of paper the size of the entire room to draw and color on. This was not the idea.
20. Create a place in the playroom to sleep? Fine. But set up two tents, get all the sleeping bags out of the attic, hang blankets from the ceiling in there? I was just thinking of a few blankets and pillows. I'm drawing the line at blowing up air mattresses. No air mattresses.
It's no wonder that I can't keep ahead of them and all their ideas. So much creativity flowing around in here!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
My Fight with Food
This morning I awoke beating myself up...again about what I ate yesterday. About the fact that the skirt I tried to put on wouldn't snap together at the waist without taking a good chunk of flesh with it. And about the fact that I have "lazily" neglected my exercise for the last 4 months.
I don't know about you, but I like being a certain size and I like knowing that I'm eating things that are good for me. When I'm the size I want to be I don't generally think about the food that I'm eating being unhealthy. In general, I make healthy food choices; with large amounts of chocolate and the occasional biscuits and gravy being the exception. Sometimes I eat too much- that's probably my biggest fault. But, overall, I do ok.
Anybody else ever struggle like this? Beat yourself up over things that to anyone else would seem silly? I mean, last night I had dinner and then had biscuits and gravy for a snack because Jon-boy was having a rough time and I wanted to do something that would bless him. So, biscuits and gravy and a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark seemed to be in order. Excellent bonding moment. However, somehow when I finished I felt like I had failed myself and my body.
Then, of course, my brain trails off deciding that means that I seem to me having massive struggles with gluttony and laziness. I assume that I must be turning to food instead of God, and therefore my relationship with eating and sitting around all day is pure evil. I must need to repent and flail myself for a good long while over my sins. It's also a good sign that I can't ever fix this problem. I mean, I keep doing it over and over again. I've exercised before and here I am, still overweight. I must not be able to ever do this right. No use trying anything I've tried before because it doesn't seem to work! Here I am as proof of that! Such rash logic!
GAH!!! The stuff that just plagues me in my head is terrible!
So, last night I prayed and asked God to help me. Help me take care of my body. Help me eat what was good for me and not just eat emotionally. Free me from gluttony. This morning I still woke up feeling defeated. That is not the power of Jesus! It isn't the way it works. Something else was going on here.
Then a friend of mine called me later on and I talked to her about what I was struggling with. And she really helped me with some perspective. Here are some things she helped me see:
First of all, I seem to forget my current circumstances- big things like surgery and pain, and sitting on the couch most of the time because I can't walk, and emotionally feeling down because I've been incredibly lonely. Somehow, when I start thinking about my eating and exercise, I declare, "There's no excuse!" This CAN be true in some ways- I don't have to be a victim of circumstance and I can choose to eat better and come up with energy for exercise- even if I can't walk. For instance, I can do plenty of core exercises, push-ups on my knees, sit-ups, leg lifts, arm curls- there are lots of ways I can get good and sweaty. I can also make healthy eating choices. But that isn't all that's going on here. Making healthy eating choices that aren't a part of my auto-pilot life requires placing a high priority and focus on this in order to be successful. So, the question is, why isn't it a high priority?
Something else must be taking that place. So what? Well, perhaps the high priority has been to care for my kids, or not do too much, or to get school done, and rest. So, food and exercise has taken a back seat. Why, then do I throw all that information out and declare myself a loser for not also simultaneously paying attention to health and fitness?
Second, I AM committed to transformation in my life. So when I have had the time to focus on fitness and eating, I have done that successfully- and lost weight, and become more healthy. There is no reason why I can't do it again. There isn't anything permanently wrong with me. I haven't failed over and over, I've just switched priorities.
While perfect eating isn't a habit right now, it is becoming one. I certainly make better choices than I did 8 years ago, and I am growing in this area. There is hope that I can continue in that direction and that someday more healthy choices will be the way I find comfort.
Third, rather than seeing my emotional eating as evil and destructive, I can see it as a friend trying to take care of me. It might not be the best way to do it, but that's the motivation behind it. When I'm physically cold, hot food feels like a warm blanket. When I'm emotionally low, comfort food feels like a friend giving me a hug from the inside out.
I'm not saying this is an excuse to stay where I'm at, but it does help de-emphasize the bigness of the issue. No, this is not a huge giant resistance to victory in my life that I, obviously, have little hope of ever overcoming. This is simply a time when I am focusing on something else and my body is trying to take care of me in the best way it knows how while on auto-pilot.
Does that mean that I'm hopeless on a path to destruction? NO! It just means that I either want to shift off auto-pilot and pay attention to this part of my life more OR notice that I'm on auto pilot for that right now for good reason and be ok with that.
I think I'm ready to shift off auto-pilot again, but I'm going to do it without beating myself up for the past 4 months of surgery, rest, and recovery like any sane person should. That's living in victory.
I don't know about you, but I like being a certain size and I like knowing that I'm eating things that are good for me. When I'm the size I want to be I don't generally think about the food that I'm eating being unhealthy. In general, I make healthy food choices; with large amounts of chocolate and the occasional biscuits and gravy being the exception. Sometimes I eat too much- that's probably my biggest fault. But, overall, I do ok.
Anybody else ever struggle like this? Beat yourself up over things that to anyone else would seem silly? I mean, last night I had dinner and then had biscuits and gravy for a snack because Jon-boy was having a rough time and I wanted to do something that would bless him. So, biscuits and gravy and a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark seemed to be in order. Excellent bonding moment. However, somehow when I finished I felt like I had failed myself and my body.
Then, of course, my brain trails off deciding that means that I seem to me having massive struggles with gluttony and laziness. I assume that I must be turning to food instead of God, and therefore my relationship with eating and sitting around all day is pure evil. I must need to repent and flail myself for a good long while over my sins. It's also a good sign that I can't ever fix this problem. I mean, I keep doing it over and over again. I've exercised before and here I am, still overweight. I must not be able to ever do this right. No use trying anything I've tried before because it doesn't seem to work! Here I am as proof of that! Such rash logic!
GAH!!! The stuff that just plagues me in my head is terrible!
So, last night I prayed and asked God to help me. Help me take care of my body. Help me eat what was good for me and not just eat emotionally. Free me from gluttony. This morning I still woke up feeling defeated. That is not the power of Jesus! It isn't the way it works. Something else was going on here.
Then a friend of mine called me later on and I talked to her about what I was struggling with. And she really helped me with some perspective. Here are some things she helped me see:
First of all, I seem to forget my current circumstances- big things like surgery and pain, and sitting on the couch most of the time because I can't walk, and emotionally feeling down because I've been incredibly lonely. Somehow, when I start thinking about my eating and exercise, I declare, "There's no excuse!" This CAN be true in some ways- I don't have to be a victim of circumstance and I can choose to eat better and come up with energy for exercise- even if I can't walk. For instance, I can do plenty of core exercises, push-ups on my knees, sit-ups, leg lifts, arm curls- there are lots of ways I can get good and sweaty. I can also make healthy eating choices. But that isn't all that's going on here. Making healthy eating choices that aren't a part of my auto-pilot life requires placing a high priority and focus on this in order to be successful. So, the question is, why isn't it a high priority?
Something else must be taking that place. So what? Well, perhaps the high priority has been to care for my kids, or not do too much, or to get school done, and rest. So, food and exercise has taken a back seat. Why, then do I throw all that information out and declare myself a loser for not also simultaneously paying attention to health and fitness?
Second, I AM committed to transformation in my life. So when I have had the time to focus on fitness and eating, I have done that successfully- and lost weight, and become more healthy. There is no reason why I can't do it again. There isn't anything permanently wrong with me. I haven't failed over and over, I've just switched priorities.
While perfect eating isn't a habit right now, it is becoming one. I certainly make better choices than I did 8 years ago, and I am growing in this area. There is hope that I can continue in that direction and that someday more healthy choices will be the way I find comfort.
Third, rather than seeing my emotional eating as evil and destructive, I can see it as a friend trying to take care of me. It might not be the best way to do it, but that's the motivation behind it. When I'm physically cold, hot food feels like a warm blanket. When I'm emotionally low, comfort food feels like a friend giving me a hug from the inside out.
I'm not saying this is an excuse to stay where I'm at, but it does help de-emphasize the bigness of the issue. No, this is not a huge giant resistance to victory in my life that I, obviously, have little hope of ever overcoming. This is simply a time when I am focusing on something else and my body is trying to take care of me in the best way it knows how while on auto-pilot.
Does that mean that I'm hopeless on a path to destruction? NO! It just means that I either want to shift off auto-pilot and pay attention to this part of my life more OR notice that I'm on auto pilot for that right now for good reason and be ok with that.
I think I'm ready to shift off auto-pilot again, but I'm going to do it without beating myself up for the past 4 months of surgery, rest, and recovery like any sane person should. That's living in victory.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Taking A Sick Day
Today I've been in the bed all day. Sore throat, head ache, body aches...ew.
Also, I've just been depressed. Everything is SO much harder with one leg. Takes more time. My crutches and I are not on speaking terms right now.
I was reading in that popular devotional today, Jesus Calling, and my eye caught this:
"Hardships are part of the journey too. I mete them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a tenderness you can hardly imagine. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts."
I'm tempted to recoil from just the idea that hardship is a gift from Jesus. But I also had the privilege of listening to this sermon this morning:
http://sermon3a.tscnyc.ws/2012/mp3g/20120401S1.mp3
Reminding me that Paul "knew" a whole lot about God, but it wasn't until after he went through hardships and suffering that he "learned" it. After he had been through all sorts of trials, then he had credibility when he talked to others. He could say that he trusted in his Master no matter what and it meant something to the people who heard it because he had been through Hell and back and was still saying that he trusted.
There's something weighty about hearing words of encouragement from one who's "been there". It makes them more believable. Like they truly know what they are talking about.
To say that what I'm doing right now is considered a hardship, almost seems laughable. I mean, I'm sitting in my bed with a wonderful supportive family chugging right along without me while I lay here and rest. They answer my every beck and call, feed me, get my medicines, and the house keeps running right along without me. Yet, it seems as though God is continuing to teach me that I'm not as big and necessary as I always think I am. (Pride) How many ways can He knock it out of me?
Don't get me wrong, I know I'm loved, and special, and unique, and all that, but I'm not God. And so often I find myself creeping into the mode that I AM.
This is a comparatively wimpy hardship to anything that Paul went through. But needing others, having to ask for help, feeling useless...again...is teaching me that He is all. He is what is needed. For me and for others. Abiding and trusting in him and not my own ability to be creative, or plan, or economize, or become more efficient in every area of life. No, that's a personality that Jesus can work through, but in the end, it's Him that is needed, no me.
So, I bow my head to this and say, work in me. Make me your servant, Jesus. Keep me from idolizing myself. And thank you for another chance to learn this lesson again. I'm not sure how this hardship will help me be a blessing to others, but I'm happy to be reminded that You, God, are everything. And I am nothing. Thank you that you work through my nothingness for Your glory.
Also, I've just been depressed. Everything is SO much harder with one leg. Takes more time. My crutches and I are not on speaking terms right now.
I was reading in that popular devotional today, Jesus Calling, and my eye caught this:
"Hardships are part of the journey too. I mete them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a tenderness you can hardly imagine. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts."
I'm tempted to recoil from just the idea that hardship is a gift from Jesus. But I also had the privilege of listening to this sermon this morning:
http://sermon3a.tscnyc.ws/2012/mp3g/20120401S1.mp3
Reminding me that Paul "knew" a whole lot about God, but it wasn't until after he went through hardships and suffering that he "learned" it. After he had been through all sorts of trials, then he had credibility when he talked to others. He could say that he trusted in his Master no matter what and it meant something to the people who heard it because he had been through Hell and back and was still saying that he trusted.
There's something weighty about hearing words of encouragement from one who's "been there". It makes them more believable. Like they truly know what they are talking about.
To say that what I'm doing right now is considered a hardship, almost seems laughable. I mean, I'm sitting in my bed with a wonderful supportive family chugging right along without me while I lay here and rest. They answer my every beck and call, feed me, get my medicines, and the house keeps running right along without me. Yet, it seems as though God is continuing to teach me that I'm not as big and necessary as I always think I am. (Pride) How many ways can He knock it out of me?
Don't get me wrong, I know I'm loved, and special, and unique, and all that, but I'm not God. And so often I find myself creeping into the mode that I AM.
This is a comparatively wimpy hardship to anything that Paul went through. But needing others, having to ask for help, feeling useless...again...is teaching me that He is all. He is what is needed. For me and for others. Abiding and trusting in him and not my own ability to be creative, or plan, or economize, or become more efficient in every area of life. No, that's a personality that Jesus can work through, but in the end, it's Him that is needed, no me.
So, I bow my head to this and say, work in me. Make me your servant, Jesus. Keep me from idolizing myself. And thank you for another chance to learn this lesson again. I'm not sure how this hardship will help me be a blessing to others, but I'm happy to be reminded that You, God, are everything. And I am nothing. Thank you that you work through my nothingness for Your glory.
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