Telling Stories

Today I had a chance to talk with someone about one of my newer discoveries- story telling.  Not the kind that involves picture books and young ears, but rather the ones I tell myself.

In my pursuit of happiness and grateful living I am becoming aware (with the help from some friends) that my success in this matter greatly depends on what I'm telling myself. 



Life is hard and then you die.

That's a story.

Life is great and then there's Heaven.

That's a different story. 

Both statements are about the same situation and yet one quickly sends me towards discouragement and the other gets me a little excited.  I'll let you decide which is which.

The point is, I do this story telling every day.

1. My kids are driving me crazy.
2. There's nothing to eat in the house.
3. My husband doesn't communicate.

The trouble with saying things like this is that then we (subconsciously) look for evidence to back it up.  When I see the kids pulling out art supplies I think, "See!  They are getting into stuff and going to make messes and that's going to make my life harder!"  Evidence for driving me crazy.  Fact.

This plays the victim card: I am a victim of my circumstances. But I can tell a different story. I can take responsibility to make a change. It's a choice.

1. My kids are being creative.  or Hmm...I need to take a break because I'm not responding well to others.
2. I have three items in the cupboard. What can I make with those?
3. It's my job to let him know we need to talk, then he's happy to connect with me.

Do you see how one leads to a positive mind set and the other leads to discouragement?

It reminds me of the verse from Proverbs 23:7 that says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

Another way of looking at it comes from a quote that a friend of mine mentioned to me recently:

”Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become your character. And watch your character for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become.” -Margaret Thatcher

Eventually, if I tell myself a story long enough, true or not, I will not only begin to believe it, but I will act on it.

So, I want the stories I tell myself to propel in me in a positive direction.  One that builds up the ones I'm around. One that motivates me and encourages me when my energy is low.  One that opens up relationships and encourages authenticity from others.

 

What about you? Any stories you tell yourself that you'd like to be different?  What could it be instead?